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Wisdom from Quran


Man and Woman



There is a whole chapter in Quran (the second longest chapter 4) titled "Women". This chapter portrays the relationship between a man and a woman, it details men and women's rights and obligations. The chapter begin with this verse:

[4:1] O people, observe your Lord; the One who created you from one being, and created from it its mate, then spread from the two many men and women. You shall regard GOD, by whom you swear, and regard the parents. GOD is watching over you.


The Chapter condemns strongly immorality and transgression (Adultery, Incest...etc) it sets a definite system for an equitable relationship, this system is "marriage", a system that protects the society from breakdown.

The forces of Satan want to change God's creation and design for no reason but to disobey Him so that they would feel like gods instituting their own laws, these evil forces are advancing their agenda of distorting the creation day and night as per their master's command (Satan).

[4:119] "I will mislead them, I will entice them, I will command them to (forbid the eating of certain meats by) marking the ears of livestock, and I will command them to distort the creation of GOD." Anyone who accepts the devil as a lord, instead of GOD, has incurred a profound loss.


As explained on this website, Satan gains control over you and becomes your lord once you buy his reasoning and fake promises of gratification, Satan uses things and people to enslave you by duping you to follow your lust. Those who are already enslaved by Satan promote his polytheistic idea, they want to destroy the family unit which is the main obstacle to their age old scheme of control.

[4:27] GOD wishes to redeem you, while those who pursue their lusts wish that you deviate a great deviation.

Thus we get bombarded with loads of immoral ideas, Satan controls the media and promotes his spiritual prisons packaged in an attractive outlook, e.g: alternative sexual forms, homosexuality, gender-transformation, dating...and every form of transgression and perversion.

These forms of transgression have one thing in common, attributing a power to a visible thing, person instead of God. God is the unseen and the reality lies in the unseen dimension of feelings and meanings, not in the visible illusion that we can feel by our senses and not by our hearts.

God sets the limits in Quran for a balanced life, whoever transgresses these limits will only bring him or herself misery and disatisfaction now and forever.

[4:13] These are GOD's laws. Those who obey GOD and His messenger, He will admit them into gardens with flowing streams, wherein they abide forever. This is the greatest triumph.
[4:14] As for the one who disobeys GOD and His messenger, and transgresses His laws, He will admit him into Hell, wherein he abides forever. He has incurred a shameful retribution.




Why Marriages fail?

Coveting (power struggles between men and women):

The most obvious transgression promoted by Satan these days is changing the roles of men and women in the name of equality!, he entices women to covet the qualities of men and vice versa, because when they change the roles designed by God, they will naturally fail and become disfunctional family units incapable of resisting his imposed agenda.

It has become hard these days to distinguish some women from men and vice versa, women have collectively rebelled against God's design, they are duped into sibstituting their roles as mothers by pursuing a career delluded by Satan's promise of gaining control over their lives!, these women when they get married, turn their marriages into a continous power struggle with no consideration for the implications of their attitudes on their children and the society as a whole.

God warned against coveting the qualities of the other sex, because its the cause of many transgressions e.g: destroying the family unit and then the society as a whole, gender transformation, homosexuality, and complete unbalance and chaos on earth as a result of not following God's system and design.

Coveting is a quality of those controlled by Satan (their Jinn companions), since Satan's ideology was trigerred by Jealousy in the first place, when he said to God that he will not serve Adam, Satan said "I am better than he"[7:12].

[4:32] You shall not covet the qualities bestowed upon each other by GOD; the men enjoy certain qualities, and the women enjoy certain qualities. You may implore GOD to shower you with His grace. GOD is fully aware of all things.





God in His Quran portrays a totally different picture for the sacred relationship between men and women:

1- A relationship based on a solemn pledge, in which the man pledges to support his wife and lead the boat to a safe shore:

[4:20] If you wish to marry another wife, in place of your present wife, and you had given any of them a great deal, you shall not take back anything you had given her. Would you take it fraudulently, maliciously, and sinfully?
[4:21] How could you take it back, after you have been intimate with each other, and they had taken from you a solemn pledge?

2- A relationship with one captain:

Any ship on earth has one captain, if it had two, it will eventually sink because of the inevitable power struggle. Quran sets the man as the captain of the family ship, this is a great responsbility, its not a privilege. The captain decides for his family after due consultation with all members, the right of final decisions is reserved for him. He has to reverence God and consider every opinion before deciding on an action

[4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners.
The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence.
If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them.
If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

3- A relationship based on genuine love:

[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.

4- Genuine love is based on common belief:

God stresses on the main criteria for choosing a spouse, the criteria is common mentality, soul orientation and belief :

Thus a woman that don't believe in God's power and control over His creation, a woman that follows the visible life elements (things and people) and attribute powers to them instead of God, a woman who doesn't feel accountable for her actions is not to be chosen even if she LOOKS attractive.

[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her.
Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like him.
These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.

[2:222] They ask you about menstruation: say, "It is harmful; you shall avoid sexual intercourse with the women during menstruation; do not approach them until they are rid of it. Once they are rid of it, you may have intercourse with them in the manner designed by GOD. GOD loves the repenters, and He loves those who are clean."
[2:223] Your women are the bearers of your seed. Thus, you may enjoy this privilege however you like, so long as you maintain righteousness. You shall observe GOD, and know that you will meet Him. Give good news to the believers.


5- A relationship based on respect of the soul, not on physical attraction:

God condemns having immoral thoughts about someone who is not legaly ours, He put certain commandments to govern this mutual respect between men and women.

[24:30] Tell the believing men that they shall subdue their eyes (and not stare at the women), and to maintain their chastity. This is purer for them. GOD is fully Cognizant of everything they do.

We know how Satan focuses our attention on the visible in order not to appreciate the unseen, which is the meaning and the feeling associated with everything and everyone. When we degrade women or men into a body and looks, we are blocking ourselves from appreciating their souls, the looks will vanish by time while the soul with its qualities will always be there. When we follow Satan we deprive ourselves from true fulfilment based on appreciating the soul. Physical attraction comes next.

[24:33] Those who cannot afford to get married shall maintain morality until GOD provides for them from His grace. Those among your servants who wish to be freed in order to marry, you shall grant them their wish, once you realize that they are honest. And give them from GOD's money that He has bestowed upon you. You shall not force your girls to commit prostitution, seeking the materials of this world, if they wish to be chaste. If anyone forces them, then GOD, seeing that they are forced, is Forgiver, Merciful.




A man pledges to support his wife and appreciate her, thus grants her a due dowry as a symbol of that pledge, in return for her giving in to his command as per God's design. Marriages fail because of the rebellion of one or both parties against God's design.

Yet God also put laws to prevent the man from taking advantage of his wife and from abusing his role,

[4:127] They consult you concerning women: say, "GOD enlightens you regarding them, as recited for you in the scripture. You shall restore the rights of orphaned girls whom you cheat out of their due dowries when you wish to marry them: you shall not take advantage of them. The rights of orphaned boys must also be protected as well. You shall treat the orphans equitably. Whatever good you do, GOD is fully aware thereof."
[4:128] If a woman senses oppression or desertion from her husband, the couple shall try to reconcile their differences, for conciliation is best for them. Selfishness is a human trait, and if you do good and lead a righteous life, GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do.
[4:129] You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage, nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
[4:130] If the couple must decide to part, GOD will provide for each of them from His bounties. GOD is Bounteous, Most Wise.


Thus no soul is forced to live with another soul against its wish, everybody is totally free, however God recommends that we reconsider and be absolutely sure before deciding to a divorce, and observe a 4 months (cooling off) interim.

Women have different qualities and thus different roles than men, the basic role is to take care of a husband and a family, while the husband provides for her and the children and makes decisions after due consultation. As for the exceptions of a wife helping her husband by working or a husband helping her at house, they don't negate the rule. God says a believing submitter wife will cheerfully accept God's arrangment.

[7:189] He created you from one person (Adam). Subsequently, He gives every man a mate to find tranquility with her. She then carries a light load that she can hardly notice. As the load gets heavier, they implore GOD their Lord: "If You give us a good baby, we will be appreciative."


There used to be a time when men were men and women were women, men didn't abuse their rights, nor women refused to cooperate, both trusted each other and reverenced God and followed His system, they wre totally happy. Real marriage was perfect harmony and still is.

God gave us examples of a righteous woman marrying an oppressive man, and wicked women marrying righteous men yet betraying their command, thus emphasizing the fact that being married doesn't mean that they share the same fate.

[66:10] GOD cites as examples of those who disbelieved the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were married to two of our righteous servants, but they betrayed them and, consequently, they could not help them at all against GOD. The two of them were told, "Enter the Hell-fire with those who deserved it."

[66:11] And GOD cites as an example of those who believed the wife of Pharaoh. She said, "My Lord, build a home for me at You in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his works; save me from the transgressing people."

[66:12] Also Mary, the Amramite. She maintained her chastity, then we blew into her from our spirit. She believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures; she was obedient.






A good example, Moses:

[28:22] As he traveled towards Midyan, he said, "May my Lord guide me in the right path."

[28:23] When he reached Midyan's water, he found a crowd of people watering, and noticed two women waiting on the side. He said, "What is it that you need?" They said, "We are not able to water, until the crowd disperses, and our father is an old man."

(comment: Moses had the masculine quality of helping women)

[28:24] He watered for them, then turned to the shade, saying, "My Lord, whatever provision you send to me, I am in dire need for it."

[28:25] Soon, one of the two women approached him, shyly, and said, "My father invites you to pay you for watering for us." When he met him, and told him his story, he said, "Have no fear. You have been saved from the oppressive people."

(Commment: A woman that had the feminine quality of being shy, not daring)

[28:26] One of the two women said, "O my father, hire him. He is the best one to hire, for he is strong and honest."

(Comment: Her father sensed her attraction to Moses's masculine qualities and decided to talk with him upon her glaring wish)

[28:27] He said, "I wish to offer one of my two daughters for you to marry, in return for working for me for eight pilgrimages; if you make them ten, it will be voluntary on your part. I do not wish to make this matter too difficult for you. You will find me, GOD willing, righteous."

(Comment: This confirms the fact that can be found in many verses, that a woman should be always lead by a righteous man, (whether her father or later her husband) who decides upon listening to her wishes)

[28:28] He said, "It is an agreement between me and you. Whichever period I fulfill, you will not be averse to either one. GOD is the guarantor of what we said."

[28:29] When he had fulfilled his obligation, he traveled with his family (towards Egypt). He saw from the slope of Mount Sinai a fire. He said to his family, "Stay here. I have seen a fire. Maybe I can bring to you news, or a portion of the fire to warm you."

(Comment: Another example of a righteous command by a family leader, Moses. A command that was cheerfully obeyed by his wife because of her trust in God and total submission to His design)


Conclusion: Satan uses both extremes, coveting and hatred to deprive the man and the woman from building a block in society, the family. Some women hate men because of a bad experience or stories of men abusing women, this is but a satanic trick to give marriage a bad name. Some others covet the role of a male-captain, thus they decide to be their own captains. Both extremes are violations of God's system. If some men are bad, it doesn't mean women should reject marriage and live on their own!. However mind- control and brainwashing through the media never succeed with the sincere, those who are devoted to God and righteousness, those who feel accountable for their actions, it only works with the wicked who readily accept Satan's invitations.

[34:20] Satan found them readily fulfilling his expectations. They followed him, except a few believers.


[15:42] "You have no power over My servants. You only have power over the strayers who follow you.